What do you need from others?
When you observe people’s behavior when it comes to social media, you get the impression (at least I get) that everyone wants to be ‘liked’, so as I result, we share when we eat an egg, visit the supermarket, and show our plate having dinner at a restaurant.
Instead of enjoying our time off, we keep busy with telling the world how wonderful everything is in our life, never showing the moments we feel lonely or upset, while that are probably the moments, we really need someone there for us!
But do we dare to be vulnerable, show our weakness and pain?
Do we dare to say when people ask us how we are, instead of I am fine! … I feel upset, fearful, or angry?
Yes, life sucks sometime, sometimes it’s difficult and complicated, sometimes things are hard, sometimes you can’t believe the amount of injustice, unfairness happening!
Sometimes you want to cry, shout, and stamp your feet.
But do you have a safe place where you can talk, argue and be miserable without being judged for that moment you feel weak!
It can be that you have a wonderful partner, so you can go home and talk, or a good friend that listens patiently, or maybe you wrap your arms around your dog or cat, finding comfort in the unconditional love of your pet.
Because we people are social beings, we want to share, we search for that listening ear and we want to be acknowledged, respected, and loved, and yes ‘liked’ by others.
In every self-help book you will learn that you need to love yourself first before you can love others and that is totally true but it’s still theory when you feel miserable sitting there, being alone.
Let’s be honest you know the theory, but that inner child of you is not getting it, the feeling of peaceful acceptance is far away when you are miserable watching your circumstances on your own.
There are a couple of options to feel better of course: being angry and blaming others, or to build a fake world in which you desperately want to belief. Telling yourself off or ignoring your problem.
Are you already recognizing to what kind of group you belong?
We live lives full of conditioning, and yes to be honest, there will be what we call no ‘normal’ world when we don’t do that! All our experiences are creating a certain impression/image that you call your world, your reality, forgetting that it’s your mind creating it based on what you feel, have learned to think about it, not if you can handle it or not.
We observe our world, the moment now… always from the perspective of the past! You honestly can say that we always live in the past and yes, we find it very difficult to bring ourselves in the moment now… as also there our opinion is based on what happened in the past.
Being angry shows clearly the way in which we think we can’t escape from the circumstances we are in, reluctantly blaming others for our situation. All kinds of emotions like, fear, anger and sadness bring us deeper into victimhood and pain.
As I said before, ignorance is the other way to deal with the feeling of sadness and anger, and yes, social media is a perfect platform to build a fake life full of success and glitters in the meantime you fool yourself with ignoring what really goes on in your life.
But what will now help to look at your situation and to get what you really need or want you will ask me?
It’s not about that advice of; ‘love yourself’ but all about; take yourself seriously, respect yourself and admit what you really need, as you must first face what you want or think you need to change!
So, it’s a ‘reality check’, but I said before reality is illusion of mind, based on the experiences of your past. It clearly needs a deeper look and probably you now start already understanding how difficult it is to change your mind although we all want to do that to become happier. OK but being frustrated doesn’t help too as you may realize that at this point you energize your anger and disappointment of not having what you ’want’ even more.
To empower and initiate your life you need to fuel gratitude. You now probably tell me, why should I be happy or act as if I am happy when I am not happy or don’t have what I want? The thing is that you ‘think’ you don’t have it and therefore you stopped the abundant flow. You ‘think’ it’s not for you and manifest nothing, as the Creator in you just follow up with your thought!
Wanting to ‘to be liked’ talks about your ‘need’ to be liked, creating even more needs…
‘Wanting’ can never make you happier! Gratitude can… as there you express your faith of having, your trust to receive and gratitude always brings you back to the now…the moment in which growth and expansion is possible.
You can only be grateful now… and only there you inspire your world…
Let’s have a serious look into some of your points of view, your opinion, your habits, and believes, let’s see what kind of conditioning and struggles you hold on to.
What do I really belief about myself, what do I think I may have, what am I able to receive in this world? Do you know already some answers on these questions? Or are you still thinking that it’s not about you but about the circumstances you are in, do you still blame others and can’t see that all you go through is an outcome of that what you are stimulating, inspiring by thought! Subconsciously!! The mind becomes aware of an emotion and inspires the brain to make it a feeling which you can locate in your body! Many times, you recognize the feeling and probably don’t know where it is coming from. This whole process happens subconsciously based on your former experiences, just in this lifetime or in previous ones.
Most of your memories are carefully stored away, the pain, fear, and anxiety perfectly hidden, to dig them up and face them can be painful and it takes courage to go through things you don’t want to see or hear about. Therapy is therefore for the brave!
We forget so easily that we live in a world of duality which we want to make perfect, thinking that all things we don’t like should be changed or get/be better. It’s a world of duality to let us experience that we have a choice how to deal, how to think and how to create our lives every day again. There is no real ending/solution or answer to that experience but are we accepting that? That remains the question when we still want to be ‘liked!’ by others.